Church – friend or foe?

 

WARNING – this could be considered controversial.

Perhaps you have read some books on Christianity or read of some people’s testimonies about the benefits and goodness of Christianity. Or maybe you have read some church websites that describe their cultures, goals and offerings. From what I have read, it would seem these would be some of the friendliest, kindest, warmest, happiest, safest, most understanding places on the earth. So why not give it a try?

Typically (which will vary from church to church) you walk into a church and are met by trained greeters at the door. They will seem friendly enough. Then you might even be met by an usher who will help you find a place to sit. At some point during the service, you may be directed by the worship leader or pastor to ‘turn and greet one another’. Then, depending on the denomination and the size of the church, you might be greeted by the pastor or an elder or deacon as you exit the church.

Not all the time, but sometimes this can seem very scripted. Almost like attending a theatre performance or a play.

They were polite, for the most part. But it was like everyone was detached from the present moment and were in a “presentation of another reality”, they were greeting people, but it was just for the program; they may have seemed to be in a hurry so they could move on to the next ‘guest’.

My presence, as a visitor, seemed to make no difference to them after the “job of greeting” was completed. (Even my grocery store will absent-mindedly welcome me. as I walked in. But their intentions were up-front. They wanted to make sure I would make a purchase – help them make a profit. Maybe I should have entered or left the church saying “I plan on giving or I gave to the offering today?”)

On one occasion I ran into some of the greeters from a church I had visited earlier that Sunday at a restaurant. I approached them to say I had enjoyed my visit, only to be met with a distant stare and a nod of approval. “Odd”, I thought.

On a couple of other occasions, I went out of my way to return to a church I had visited to meet the pastor later during the week for a more personal encounter only to be left with a feeling that I might have intruded on his time. (I kept thinking, afterward, that I might have had a friendlier encounter at my local Elks club or at the local bar (although I don’t frequent bars).

During a Wednesday evening service at another church we had been attending, we watched a video on ‘sexuality in the Bible’. Afterward we had a question-and-answer period. A man walked around the auditorium with a microphone allowing those who wanted, to answer questions about experiences of improper responses to sexual situations with Christians and how we handled them. I volunteered to contribute a story. Half was through my story a woman in the back of the church began to shout at me, “you sound like a chauvinist!” She continued to rant stopping me from speaking. I had been at this church less than a year, so I thought it best to go silent. After the class dispersed, many people came to me thanking me for my remarks and lamenting that I could not finish. The woman was not censured – not even spoken to about her ‘lunatic’ behavior. Yep. Just like any old townhall meeting – except we were in church.

Another time during a rather large Sunday School class, I was chatting before class began with a person I was trying to befriend. Suddenly, the ‘teacher’ bellowed across the room at me in an angry tone, “Mike, sit down. I want to get this going”. Both I and my ‘almost friend’ were shocked. This guy is an elder in the church and the teacher – yelling at me to sit down and be quiet? Realizing our shock, he stammered, “he’s a neighbor, so it’s okay”. (Well, we are neighbors, but no, it was not okay).

At another church, (at which I served as an associate pastor) the pastor had been confronted with adultery charges. It had become overwhelmingly plain that there was credibility to the allegations. I asked him privately if a third-party mediator from the district would be a good idea and he shouted at me to mind my own business. Then I suggested a counsellor or a therapist and he suggested I leave the church – which I did, later. (He was eventually found out).

Another time a pastor of another church asked to have lunch. I agreed. He attempted to get me to proselyte members from my current church to his startup church. I refused, whereupon he began to shout at me, accusing me of not being a good person nor of being a good Christian. (Sometimes I think I must have imagined these things. But these are real accounts).

My wife and I had been visiting yet another church for a few Sundays, and at the last minute decided to go to a Wednesday evening service. I did not have time to go home to get my Bible, but went went into this church anyway. As chance would have it, we encountered the pastor in a hallway before the service. I greeted him by saying hello, we are new here. He responded dryly saying “where’s your Bible?” I explained the circumstances and told him we had just moved into the area and told him my vocation. He stared at me and finally replied, “Well, good luck on that”, and walked away.

(These experiences happened at three different Southern Baptist churches, a Nazarene church and a Presbyterian church. I could go on and on, from church to church. But hopefully, you get the idea. We were members of our first church as Christians from 1976 through 1978 during a temporary military assignment in Texas and it was friendly and biblically sound. It was like a big family. Then we became members of a church in Virginia from 1978 through 1987 and it became our family – but things were changing. We moved to a church closer to our home from 1988 through 2005 and it was like a family-business. We relocated to another city and became members of a church – and an associate pastor – from 2005 through 2008, and it had an agenda and a philosophical socio-political worldview. We relocated to Florida and visited a church from 2008 through 2010 and joined as members from 2010 through 2018. We have been at our current church from 2018 to current day).

My experiences and assessment have to be an aberration. Right? I talk to some regular church goers and they say their church isn’t like that. That their church is really, really friendly. (So, I visited some of their churches, and I found them to be polite. I found them to be nice. But no. They weren’t really, really friendly.) So, I am left feeling that maybe it’s just me? I just don’t fit in there…or there…or there? Or am I just complaining? Neither. Or am I just saying aloud, what so many of you have been thinking. But, I am offering a solution – if we are willing.

Many pastors and church leaders will attempt to explain or excuse this behavior saying something like “church is a place for people, and people are sinners (hypocrites, liars, cheaters, etc.) covered by the Blood of Jesus and being sanctified to be like Christ – they are in process”. But many of these folks have been considering themselves as Christians for decades. So how long does this process of “becoming Christlike” take before they stop overt and blatant sinful behavior and actually become “Christlike”? Or is another issue at work here?

Please read this from Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Verse 17. For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want. Verse 18. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Verse 19. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, indecent behavior, verse 20, idolatry, witchcraft, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, 21envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Verse 22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, verse 23, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Verse 24. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

I believe many are not taking seriously (or just don’t understand) what it means to walk by the Spirit, so that you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. I believe this behavior in the church is becoming or has become the “new normal” in churches across our nation. It would seem that most of us who go to church have just adjusted to this “new normal” and accept it..

We used to say “my church is my family”. Now it is “this is where I go to church – it is where I attend”. (I attend a church now and as long as I stay quiet and speak when spoken to, we get along just great! You know, friends-at-arms-length).

One of the most foreign and socially inept, dysfunctional, and alienating places I have been in the last 10 or 15 years may be church.

Jesus warned that this day was coming. He said, in Matthew 24:12, “And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold.” This verse highlights that during difficult times, especially in the end times, people’s love for one another can diminish due to increasing wickedness and challenges.”

(These examples I have cited are the milder examples. It is getting worse. Much worse. (https://arrestedpastor.com/).

So, let’s move on from this negative approach of “having identified the problem”, and please allow me appeal directly to the Body of Christ – you, the Church, (and yes, I am referring to myself, also):

Having been warned that these things would happen doesnt’ seem to have done much for correcting the problem. But folks, this just ain’t right.

Please read about the CHURCH, according to Strong’s Bible concordance. The term “Church”, comes from the Greek word Ekklesia, and it means “the called; the called-out ones:; these are people called out from the world’s belief systems and to God’s teachings on how to think, act and behave; the outcome being the Church (the mystical body of Christ) – i.e. the universal (total) body of believers whom God calls out from the world and into His eternal kingdom. This is what we, the Body of Christ should begin to focus on and practice until we get it right. Until it becomes not just what we do, but what we believe and are compelled to do by our mind, conscience, will and emotions.

The basics of the Ekklesia is that we, the Church, are called out of this world and no longer part of this world. Please let that sink in. Get the best picture of that in your mind as you are able.

We as Christians, are to be the mystical Body of Christ. We are being made into a peculiar people, made as God’s own possession for His own use.

This is a radical departure or progression from ‘going to church’ to be a better person, to a becoming a peculiarity. We are people who, as Christians, live in this world as resident aliens, foreigners and sojourners, travelers in a foreign nation – we have become citizens of the kingdom of heaven, on mission upon the earth.

Therefore, and thereby, we do not adopt but we must adapt. We do not adopt, copy or resemble this world and its ways but we adapt as we spread the message of the Kingdom of God. (Now, please, stop, and consider how you dress, how you talk, the things you do for entertainment and how you adorn your body. Do you mimic this world’s standards? Please understand that we are not secret agents just fitting in. We are openly and brazenly ambassadors for Christ. This is the litmus test.).

We are not to conform to this world, but we are to have been transformed by the renewing of our minds by the word of God, mirrowing Biblical beliefs and standards, so we may prove what is the good, acceptable and perfect will of God to those around us. (This phrase is from Romans 12:2 in the Bible, which encourages individuals not to adopt the behaviors and values of the world around them, but instead to be transformed by renewing their minds to understand God’s will, which is good and perfect. It emphasizes the importance of inner change and spiritual growth).

1 Peter 2:9, from the King James Bible, tells us, “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people (from the Greek word, ‘peridoiesis’ – a preserving, saving unto the soul, God’s own property or possession, He has obtained); that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light”.

1 Peter 2:9, in the New King James Version puts it this way, “you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light”.

And, 1 Peter 2:9, from the New American Standard Bible say it thusly: “But you are A CHOSEN PEOPLE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR GOD’S OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light”.

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Psalms 135:4. also tells us “For the LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself, and Israel for his peculiar treasure.

Titus 2:14. repeats that, “Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

1 Peter 1:1-2., puts it this way, “Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who reside as strangers, (parepidemos – a resident foreigner, an alien, a pilgrim, stranger) scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, who are chosen (electos – chosen, elect, favorite).

And Jesus, in John 17:14 makes it clear when He praying to His Father and says, “I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Verse 15. I am not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them away from the evil one. Verse 16. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.

Matthew 5:13, reminds us that“You (followers of Christ Jesus) are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by people.

Verse 14. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; verse 15, nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Verse 16. Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

We are to be counter-cultural to the world and its systems and beliefs.  We are to be cultural influencers, agents of change.

Like light is to darkness and salt is to infection.

Light shows the way, stays rot and decay, provides safety in travel and reveals that which is unknown.

Salt is essential for maintaining fluid balance in the body, aiding in nerve function and regulating muscle contraction. It also enhances the flavor of food and is used in food preservation. So is the life and teachings of Christ.

We live in the world, but we are not of this world. We walk, we talk, we eat, drink and breathe the air. We are bipedal, we have sight. On first glance, we look like everyone else, but upon closer observation, we are not like everyone else at all. Not even close.

We may be like the sheep being led to slaughter, but do not be deceived – we overcome the evils of this world mightily by the word of our testimony and by the Blood of the Lamb. And in that we have a message of bad news and of Good News.

The bad news is that this world is perishing and even now is in the throws like a mother in birth pains. However, these pains lead to death and destruction, the final judgements of God on a sinful and decadent world, always and only doing evil.

The Good News is that there is a way out of this spiritual anarchism and chaos. A way to be saved from the destruction that is at hand. A way to live now, in peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and with self-control and ultimately in the kingdom of our God, in His presence where there are no more tears, no more sickness or death, no more hatreds. Where there is no need of the light of the moon or the sun because He will be our Light. In the place where the river of life flows freel

He is calling to you, now. He is saying “Come, follow Me. I am the Way the Truth and the Life. I am the Only Way to the Father and to the eternal home I have prepared for you.”

Just saying these things or saying they are so is not enough. We must live in them because we know it is so. People are watching and waiting and God has chosen us to be that peculiar people as a living example of what it means and what it looks like to be one of His Chosen.

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing:  to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things? For we are not like the many, peddling the word of God, but as from sincerity, but as from God, we speak in Christ in the sight of God. (2 Corinthians 2:15-17).

Please consider this as an appeal in humility.

Your Brother and Friend,

Mike Young.